The Walk- An Essay in Memory of Clare

Part 1:

I walked up to Big Bend the other night. I never intended to walk that far. I just decided to leave the confines of my neighborhood, and that’s the way my feet went.

I felt audacious. I was a leisurely walker. A LEISURELY WALKER! Usually, when you’re taking that boring, same-every-day drive home from work, you just see the fitness freaks being all fit. I felt like I was breaking the rules by being laid-back.

I had my headphones on, listening to Ani, walking pretty fast, but feeling chill. My fingers strummed the air and my wrists snapped the down beat. But I was doing it in a way that I thought was subtle, so like, no one driving in their car- bored out of their mind, happened to look at me and think I was nuts, playing air drums walking along Clayton Road.

Tell Me About It

I was struck by the simple wisdom in the following statement by Carolyn Hax about self-esteem: “Change what you can, make peace with what you can’t and let the masses think what they want.”

Then I realized, it sounds a lot like the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the ability to know the difference.”

Hm. Good stuff either way. I’m all for strong people, especially women, but Hax also warns that if a person becomes too strong (in the post-doormat stage for example), he or she could lose the ability to compromise. However, strong people can also be generous people.

Just thoughts to let marinate.

The Story of the Ring

Well, it’s not so much a ring as a post with one curvy end and one glittery end.

Yes, Mom, it’s too late.

Friday, after finding out that my workplace did not have a policy against it, I went and got my nose pierced. I had been thinking about it for quite a while, but was anxious about my job.

Discovery

I’ve discovered that one pack of Sweet ‘n Low can replace the three packs of sugar I prefer in my oversized tea mug. Hm. Who knew?

Debauchery, Here I Come

Well, it looks like I am going to experience the St. Louis Mardis Gras for the first time tomorrow. My friend Tracie has an apartment down there and we plan to run the full gamet. Getting down there by 9 a.m., parade at 11 and staying all day and night for the craziness. I am a little scared about how many breasts I will see. I can gaurandamntee you that no one will be seeing mine!

Stuff

Here are some random thoughts for you.

Men drive me CRAZY. No matter how much you don’t want them to. No matter how much you know you really don’t need them. Something about them always ends up driving you crazy… driving me crazy. You know what I mean.

The Da Vinci Code is freaking me out a little. I wish I could have Fr. Simon, a family friend, on speed dial while reading it. I just want to be able to call someone on almost every other page and say, “all right, is this really true?” I know some of it is and some of it isn’t. But I hate not knowing what’s what.

I am 99% sure that I am finally getting my nose pierced tonight. I know it’s a little crazy and hey, maybe I will end up taking it out. But I have been wanting to for months and I just found out that my work doesn’t have a policy against it. They can’t really ask me to remove it. So I am not waiting any longer. Julia is meeting my at Iron Age after work. I’m really excited.