Late Night at the Hale Koa

The Hale Koa is the military resort right on the beach at Waikiki. It’s available on a first come first serve basis to all military. No, we didn’t stay there. It was full. Damn nice place though. The Barefoot Bar, just feet from the beach, had the best and cheapest drinks we found. It’s open to all, so I highly recommend it to anyone going to Waikiki. Seriously, the Mai Tais will sock your knocks off (which is just what we want right?), and for only $5.50 (which sounds expensive here and is cheap as hell there). Drinking is by far the most expensive thing you can do in Hawaii, so this is a good tip for all. Also, none of the bars allow you to take their drinks onto the beach, but the Hale Koa does not monitor this as well as some others. AND, if you are looking for single men… jackpot. Yeah, some are out vacationing with their families, but many others are TDY or traveling with buddies.

For several reasons, we chose to attend the luau at the Hale Koa as well. It fit our budgets and time schedules. At Paradise Cove (probably the best luau on Ohau), you pay $70 for a top-tier ticket. We paid $33. Sweet. And, of all things in the whole world, guess who was the Emcee for the night? Glenn Medeiros. Who the hell is that? Ah… another infamous 80s rock star. He sang “Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You” both in the 80s and at our luau. Did you know that in that song, the lyrics are NOT “I wanna nubba know how much I love you?” It’s actually “You ought to know by now how much I love you.” Makes much more sense.

I already talked about the food we ate, and that was the main event. We missed the cocktail hour because we were snorkeling and didn’t get back in time. We arrived as they showed the crowd how they cooked the pig. They made us say “Aloha” a lot. The word, by the way, means hello, goodbye and love. The show consisted of Hawaiian dancers. Enjoyable, but you know, it’s all about the hands and really isn’t that hard. Now the fire dancer was groovy. And of course, there were more than a few songs by Glenni. He does have a nice voice though. Some little kid sang a song about soldiers and they closed with “Proud to be an American” at which point the two Air Force buddies I was with bolted. They get pretty sick of it apparently.

So yeah… Hale Koa all the way. Would I recommend their luau over another? Probably not. Especially because if you aren’t military, you won’t get in for $33. But dude… Barefoot Bar!

Hawaiian Food

I have no idea where to start so why not here?

My experiences with actual Hawaiian food include a dinner at Ono Hawaiian Restaurant and a luau on the last night.

Their pulled pork is totally yummy. I don’t eat a lot of pulled pork, so I don’t know how or if it is different than the regular kind, but WOW! Ditto on the chicken that can be prepared the same way. One of the most popular Hawaiian dishes (as we were told by the waitress at the restaurant, which by the way was NOT a tourist place, but tucked into a street in Honolulu) is called Laulau. Unfortunately, it was not served at the luau. It’s really just the pulled pork or chicken wrapped in taro leaves. The taro leaves essentially taste and look like spinach. Good stuff.

Mahi Mahi was everywhere and more than tasty. But I have always been a fan of this fish.

The beef jerky at Ono’s was AMAZING. I’ve never tasted a jerky so good in my life.

The pineapple is to die for. Naturally.

The tomato and raw salmon salad was surprisingly yummy. The salmon looks exactly the same as the diced tomatos so you don’t even know it’s there. The consistency is NOT bad or weird. It was great. This was served at both places. The seaweed salad and papaya and cucumber salad were served only at the luau. The latter was super good. The seaweed did little for me.

Sweet potatoes are prevalent, but taste the same pretty much. However, the 7-11s have these puffy things you can buy. I don’t know how to explain them. But they can be stuffed with sweet potato, spam and egg and a couple other things. Spam, BTW, is very popular out there. My friend said he heard it was because it was rationed there so much in the war that people got used to it. Anyway, the sweet potato puff was purple and the potatoes inside were purple. I took a picture. Very weird. Also at the 7-11 were these little things called Dim Sum. Not sure how it was spelled. Basically, it was a chinese dumpling though… a oversized pot sticker with a lot more pork meat inside. My particular favorite of the trip. (Maybe minus the beef jerky.)

Desserts… at both dinners I got a wedge of a coconut pudding- in a square brownie shape. It had a similar consistency to some tofus but tasted good if you could get past that.

And of course… Poi. Poi is the consistency of yogurt. And it’s purple. It’s made from pounded taro root and tastes like nothing. Really… nothing at all. You can eat it plain or dip your meat and potatoes in it. Supposedly it is healthy, otherwise, I just don’t get it.

This isn’t Hawaiian food per se, but I did have sushi on my second night. It was very good, but I expected it to be like out-of-this-world good with the huge Japanese population.

And the Mai Tai. Ahhh… maybe it’s not a Hawaiian drink, but I will forever associate it as one.

I was told to expect very pricey food. My personal experience was not bad. We were so busy that we often ate only one real meal a day. The hotels had fridges so we kept and ate our leftovers and bought cereal and milk for breakfast. The meals I ate were priced the same as about everywhere. On the other hand, I talked to a guy on the plane who had spent a week in Maui. He said you couldn’t get a hamburger for less than $10-12. And I thought “Why are you eating hamburgers?” But then, he had two young sons. It also helps to stay away from overly-touristy places.

Now, aren’t you glad you know about Hawaiian food? What a weird topic for me to start with.

So much

There’s so much to write that I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how much you guys want to know about my trip. Plus I saw a movie, finished a book, started a new one, have stuff to say about news, heard new music and have other general questions and observations per usual. Yowsa!

I might just write a whole bunch of entries about whatever… random stuff. My favorite memories from the trip. I don’t know. But I will say that it was totally amazing. Completely. It’s SO hard to be back here when my friends are still on the beach. Although, yesterday while I was traveling they got drunk on Mai Tais and fell asleep at Waikiki where they surely burned their asses off. Still waiting to hear how bad it is.

The first thing I did in Hawaii was burn. I put on 30 spf but tried to do it thinly. Instead, I did plain awful and ended up with strange, alien blotches all over my body for several days. Lovely. But I think I got it all evened out.

So that’s the beginning. Stay tuned. And if you are enjoying my stories, please let me know. Otherwise I will think you are bored and will stop blathering on about gorgeous beaches.

Awesomer

My days just keep getting better. Tonight, I got a $170 camera from Best Buy for $90… just because. They didn’t have the one I decided on and I didn’t want to be paying $170 even though I loved this camera. So the guy just decided to give it to me for less. Uh… o’kay? O’KAY!!!! Granted, he knew the friends I was with from theater stuff. That helped. But seriously. Wow.

Now I am off to Hawaii with a decent camera… 160 zoom! Hey… it’s better than a disposable, and I haven’t researched digitals enough to pay the money for a good one. I am super super pleased. Afterall, I still like photographs- real ones. And the friend I am staying with in Hawaii has a digital. Woohoo!

If I get online at all, I’ll try to blog. It will be the fastest way to tell people how I am. However, no promises. I don’t plan to be getting online much. Peace!

Awesome

Today is AWESOME! I’ve been walking around all morning singing to my cat, “I’m going to Hawaii.” I don’t know if he can tell I am leaving. Last night he bit me on the ass. Yeah, for real, ask Tracie. He got into one of his “I’m a tiger” moods and lept up and bit me on the ass. However, I think this fact is less amazing than the fact that I am admitting it on my blog. LOL. Then he slept on my side and wouldn’t detach from my legs as I brushed my teeth etc. this morning. Anyway… he’s a little bastard. The point is… I’M GOING TO HAWAII.

I’m at the library now getting directions off the internet to my friend’s place in KC where I am staying tonight. Then I fly out at 9 tomorrow. I’M GOING TO HAWAII! It’s amazing how much you can pack when it’s all little tank tops and shorts and sexy dresses. I mean… I have enough clothes for 2 weeks and it takes up a 3rd of a fairly small suitcase. If I took out 5 tank tops, it would be about the thickness of a pancake or two. So I might as well have the choices.

I also wanted to mention before I left that I just finished the book The Red Tent. Freaking amazing. It had been suggested at least 3 times before I picked it up. Awesome. Awesome.

And that’s that folks. I’m going to find a new fatty book for the beach and then I’m outta here. Aloha!

Telling

I’m anxious about tomorrow’s gig. But in a good way.
I feel very underestimated.
Like some people think I can’t play with the big boys.
My plan is to prove to them (and myself) that they are wrong.
Very wrong.