My pathetic little life has just come crashing further in. The unemployment office just informed me that it has determined I am not payable. Apparently, it’s because I broke company policy with my internet usage. I know this is the “official” reason they fired me, but it’s far from the bottom line truth. I truly believe that my boss just wanted someone under that she had hired and could shape herself. Also, in hiring someone new, they could start again at a base pay and save themselves money. Afterall, the timing of my “disposal” was just after negotiations were completed for next year’s contracts. And dammit, my internet usage was e-mail and this website. It’s not like I was downloading porn!
I’m a good person who is suriviving on faith alone right now. I was liked by most in the District. I was lax in my last months because I was unhappy, but I didn’t hurt our District or our office. My work was slow, but it was done and done well. I was given no real warning of my disposal and now I am denied benefits from the State?!
I wanted so badly to find something that would make me happy. To take the time to be picky and get a job that will best suit my skills and personality. Now, it looks like I could be flipping burgers and eating the ones that fall apart. Yeah, that might be an exaggeration in reality, but it doesn’t seem like one to me. My life is a disaster and I don’t know how I am going to pull it together.
I’m not sure exactly what I want. I don’t even know if I want to stay in St. Louis. But I am damned now. Or at least, in my initial state of grief (entirely renewed if not actually sparked by this news), this is how I feel.
If you pray, please say a prayer for me. I swear that I am a good person. I don’t feel I deserve the mess that was handed callously to me by my former employer.
I was told I could appeal the decision by the state, but I am not sure what basis I have for an appeal. If anyone knows anything about this, please let me know. Also, please remain positive in any comments you make. I am very fragile right now.