Jim Caviezel’s sister brought me dinner tonight.
Well, all right, as head of the Mom’s Group at my sister’s parish, she is one of many who have cooked and delivered dinners to my sister post delivery. My brother-in-law is in the Men’s Group with his dad, and it just so happens that one of my highschool classmates is engaged to his sister. Small world. But cool.
I just can’t stop thinking about what’s going on down South. I’m so frustrated because it seems like I just can’t get a good, full story of what’s going on. I guess the coverage is getting better, but for a while there, I felt I knew more about what happened during the tsunami than what is going in our own country.
It’s just so beyond imagination that an entire, large US city has been wiped out. Not to mention others like Biloxi. It’s very different than the tsunami in many ways. SO many people died there because it was unexpected and they were much more undeveloped countries. But what happens when a huge modern city is destroyed? They are saying it might be six months before the water is pumped out. Three months for power.
I just keep praying. My friend Julie and her boyfriend escaped from New Orleans on Saturday, but after seeing footage of their neighborhood, they are fairly certain they lost everything. They hadn’t thought it would be this bad and her boyfriend didn’t bring his instruments. Oy.
But more on my mind is my ex, Jeff, who’s still a very good friend. I called many times last night and today. Half the time I get a busy signal and the other half goes straight into voicemail. He lives in Biloxi and is a captain in the Air Force stationed at Keesler. He’s already fled more than once this year, and due to his rank, the AF actually pays him to do so. I’m not really worried about whether he is safe. Jeff’s the type who would be played by Tom Cruise in a movie – not only saving himself from some impossible situation, but also 15 other people. Most likely, he fled and has now gone back to Biloxi to see if his house survived etc. Maybe even to help people. But I’ve heard 95% of Keesler was demolished. I just wish I’d hear from him. Um, clearly he has other things on his mind and I’m selfish to keep wanting him to get in touch. But that doesn’t make me stop worrying about him. And hoping he took his kitty, Gimlet, when he fled. And his Delorean.
I’ve mellowed way out since my last entry. Had a great Mass tonight. You know, when you feel the readings and homily might as well be about you and to you etc. But I feel much better. Wende and I agreed that I would arrive in Chicago tomorrow before the kids’ lunch. So about 11 a.m. I need to leave here around 8 and I have quite a bit left to do. But it will get done and I will sleep and I will get there on time and everything will be fine.
I’m in a panic. It’s all hitting me, because it’s all happening. (Name the movie from whence the title comes…)
I’ve been putting these events out in front of me and barely managing to get to and through them. Leaving St. Louis, being home for a week, the class reunion… And now, I am supposed to be in Chicago tonight.
There’s no way I am ready. I got the basement area cleared out and the many childhood boxes gone through. Now I need to carry my stuff down from the garage and organize it. Since I haven’t had time to go through stuff yet, I have to do as much as possible today – deciding exactly what to take to Chicago and making sure everything else is put away where I can get to it. It seems a monumental task. I should have been working harder all week, but there was so much else to do as well.
And I’ve really worked myself up about Chicago. The schedule, the changes, the lack of friends, the lack of time or availability to go and do things that are just me… I need to stay focused on helping my sister. And my gosh, I get to meet Jesse tonight!
I just need to GET there. Like every other terrifying thing I have done in the last month. I just need to get there and start coping, adjusting and doing everything in my own power to make myself happy.
But right now I feel scared and lonely and sad again. And a little faked out that all the other stuff is actually over. There’s still no going back to my apartment in St. Louis (home). There’s no more week of “relaxation” with my parents. Ha! And I won’t see those high school people again for who knows how long.
And worst of all, tonight I have to leave Sebastian (my cat). He’s been with me for over 5 years. And I know I didn’t have to get rid of him, for which I am so thankful. But walking away still hurts. He means a lot to me.
Now, I have to stop lamenting and start working.
The 10-year reunion part 2 was fun tonight, although in a slightly different way. Last night was more extreme because you were seeing people from a whole different chapter of your life for the first time in years. And there were a lot more people. But thankfully I really like trying to talk to everyone and learn their stories. Cuz I really do care, you know? Not in deep personal way, but in that I am truly glad to hear people are doing well.
I mean, I share some roots with these folks. I went to school for five years with just 25 kids. Then we merged into 70 maybe and then to 125 as our graduating highschool class. Even though I wanted to see everyone, I kinda longed to see those 25. I only saw five, including my friend Andy.
Anyway, tonight people had fallen back into their cliques again a little. Understandable. You want to know how everyone is, but you really to hang with your friends too. I still talked to everyone. It was easier as there were fewer people. Actually, I might have spent too little time with my very closest friends. But frankly, I have seen Malissa and Jessica quite a bit and I will continue to see them. They are my lifelong friends. Most of the rest of these people I won’t see for another five or ten years. Maybe never. Whose to say even where I will be?
And at the end of tonight, not everyone ended up going to the same bar. And although I would have enjoyed going out with those I haven’t and won’t see, I chose to get a drink with one of my other lifelong friends of whom I see less than Jess and Malis. And I’m really glad I did. I really appreciated that time with he and his wife. HE’S the person I have a deep personal interest in.
And there were a few others too that I was more personally touched by seeing and talking to. Close/best friends from different stages of my life that I don’t keep up with now. And yes, even a highschool ex. I was just so happy to hear about their lives because I truly wish them all the best, you know? They were good people who had a HUGE impact on my life. The formative years.
I couldn’t feel like any more different of a person than I was when I graduated from high school. I wonder if I seem different to them? Or is it just all my internal outlook on the world? Hm. Regardless, even though I discovered who I was after highschool (actually after my sophomore year in college), all the roots were laid then… with these people.
I feel very lucky that I had a positive reunion experience. But a lot of it was that I chose to have a positive experience before I even went. The fact that I had no expectations but to make the best of it allowed me to be pleased as punch that I had such a grand time. 
And cheers to Pat Thorpe, Joe Neyens and Matt Adams. RIP.
I had a most excellent time at my 10-year highschool reunion tonight. We just all met at a local bar tonight and tomorrow we’re going to a minor league baseball game. Low key. I was pretty excited about tonight. There were people I really wanted to see. And I can say that I talked to every person and knew their names. I tried to talk in depth with most as well and did. Even memorized as many spouse names as possible. The couple of people I really didn’t like from highschool weren’t there, and another couple I worried about a little turned out to be a lot of fun to talk to. But, I really knew I would be fine. I can talk to anyone about almost anything. And some of these people I have known my whole life! It was just really fun. I enjoyed talking to people. We have all experienced very different paths, but all of them are good. Everyone seemed fairly well happy. We were only a class of 125. Ack, this is horribly written train of thought because it’s LATE and I’m tipsy. Off to bed with me! Cheers to 10 years!
